A world of technology. How much screen time is too much for our children?

I remember seeing a magazine article when I was working in the Nurseries of a baby swiping her finger on a picture in a book and not understanding why the picture wasn’t moving. This struck a chord with me as it highlighted the world of technology our little ones are growing up in and I wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. The current advice is that children should have limited screen time, that ideally children under two should have none and that families should establish a routine where parents are completely in control of the amount of time and when. Advice particularly states that screen time before bed should be avoided. Hmmmmmm, I have to admit, at the risk of being totally criticised that we are totally failing at this with our 1 and nearly 3 year old and I’m totally undecided whether I should be concerned by this or not. We just bought two 7inch Galaxy Tabs for the girls, mainly because we are going on a plane and it seems like a good way to occupy them and minimise any stress. I also have an iPhone X and am aware that the girls see this as their toy, which is so totally wrong on so many levels, but my biggest issue is that it cost £1000 and Lydia wants to chew it! (Priorities totally in the wrong place their I suspect). So how much is too much in the ‘real world’ not the ‘research world’ which rarely translates into reality and how can you determine whether what they are watching is ‘educational’ and worthy or not? I, like most parents of toddlers know every version of ‘daddy finger’ and ‘Johnny, johnny, yes papa’ going. Some nights I go to bed singing it in my head. YouTube is responsible for teaching Rosie her colours, not exclusively but mostly and she knows so many animal sounds from watching ‘what do the animals say?’. What does bother me is that she says ‘Mum (or Mom) with a bit of an American twang. I know for sure this is from what she watches and perhaps highlights that she might be having too much screen time. Whilst we have a very strict bed time routine which starts with ‘calming down time’ after her bath, this does include her watching her tablet for a period of time, before her milk, bedtime story and bed. They say children should be calm before bedtime and screen time before bed can stimulate them and excite them, I’ve not experienced this. I find that if Rosie is able to play freely with all her toys and games she is much more stimulated and excited than if she’s watched something on amazon prime video or on YouTube. Maybe this will change as she gets older. I guess we will wait and see. We are also guilty of giving the girls our phones (now their own tablets) in restaurants when we’ve been waiting for a long time, it actually does keep them occupied and avoids the embarrassment and hideousness of misbehaving toddlers and people staring at you with their eyes of eternal judgement. When Rosie was about 22 months old (so when research says she shouldn’t have been having any screen time) we went to our local shopping centre and at that time the city had sponsored placement of lots and lots of brightly coloured pigs, they were all numbered and scattered around the city. Rosie saw a couple of these and kept running up to them making and repeating a funny hand gesture (nothing rude to those of you thinking it!) and saying a word that we just didn’t understand. Eventually I realised she was doing the makaton sign for friends and saying friends.... now I didn’t teach her this - Mr Tumble did! Again, I’m not sure if that’s right or wrong? The use of technology is something all of our children will have to learn and will require an adequate level of competence at for their future successes. So getting their hands on it young and it becoming a natural part of life is a good thing I suppose. I guess it’s just important that their screen time doesn’t prevent them enjoying other valuable and necessary experiences, like using their hands to hold a pen, instead of doing finger swipes. I love the smell and feel of turning a page in a brand new book and both the girls get so much pleasure from looking at and ‘reading’ their books. They also would ditch the tablets immediately if there was a chance to go to the park, or get in the paddling pool or whatever outdoor adventure is on offer, so I guess this means they aren’t addicted and unable to function without it. There’s research that also says that the ‘younger generation’ are going to have undeveloped neck muscles where they spend so much of their time looking down at screens and I can see how this might happen, I can also see the social connotations (or antisocial connotations) of a society that don’t actually look at each other anymore. This really bothers me and reminds of sci-fi futuristic films where human beings are actually being controlled by robots and live in a world of virtual reality but maybe my imagination is just running away with me. In all of my parenting decisions I’ve been very clear, very concise and very confident that I’m doing what’s best for the girls and my family as a whole. But on this one I’m a little stumped. I’ve read the research and can see what valid points are made, I’m always weary of how research translates to reality though and in reality I’m completely undecided where the balance lies and if I’m getting it right. I hope I’m not justifying my decisions to be fairly free with their screen time by looking at what they are learning and paying more attention to the pros than the cons and perhaps now is the time to set the absolute limit of what is acceptable, I can not deny though screen time for the girls at times keeps me sane!

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