I’ve been really thinking about this a lot recently and wonder how many other Mummy’s feel the same way to any extreme. The psychologist in me is absolutely fascinated by it. For those of you that know me, or read my blogs, or follow me on social media you’ll know I’ve made some fairly dramatic changes in my life over the last couple of years. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that these dramatic changes have occurred after the birth of my children and becoming a Mummy. It’s suddenly hit me that I really don’t think I have fully appreciated the huge impact that having the girls has had on my approach to life, to my thinking and my ability to conquer the huge mountains that have inhibited me up till now and to be quite honest now I have realised I’m a little bit shocked by it.
I have done three fairly major things this year, things that have been such a big deal to me for as long as I can remember and things that for 35 years I have just lived with and accepted as it ‘just being me’. These things are: my continued focus on my health, fitness and weight loss, my massive phobia of flying or being anywhere near a plane and dealing with the cosmetic nature of my left eye blindness (I actually haven’t written a blog about this, but there is a video on YouTube which I’ll link below).
To round up exactly what I have done more specifically, I’m now 4 stone 10 pounds down in my weight loss (and it’s still going down), I went to hypnotherapy for my fear of flying and have since been on two holidays abroad (so 4 flights in total) and in November I went through the (horrific) process of being fitted for an artificial eye - which I will get in January. Reflectively if I was to sit down and be asked 5 years ago what are the top 5 things in life that hold me back, or negatively effect my confidence these 3 things would, without doubt have been in my top 5.
As you can imagine people ask me all the time why now, what’s happened, how do I do it and I’ve always struggled to answer that question because I didn’t know the answer myself so I talk about changing priorities and finding determination and motivation and learning that I’m in control. All of these things are true!
I talk passionately about being a positive role model for the girls and standing behind them, pushing them in the right direction, not teaching them fear and offering them security and encouragement so they aren’t afraid to try things, say what they are thinking or put their hand up to speak in a group. Teaching them to hold their head high when they walk into a room so people will want to engage with them and them having the confidence to engage back. I could go on .... but I’d end up boring myself with it ... if you want to know more I’m sure there is a soap box somewhere I could stand on!
Suddenly I feel like I’ve had a bit of an epiphany, a dawn of realisation and that is what the girls have done for me. All of a sudden it’s not about the things I want them to try, or the support I’m going to give them it’s about what they’ve done for me, without them even having to try. I didn’t realise my children would give me the confidence, the courage and the motivation to climb these huge mountains. I didn’t ever know that they could be supporting me in doing things I would never have done. I didn’t even acknowledge that they have taught me to look at life and it’s challenges in a completely different, not as highly strung way. When people say they do things for their children is this what they mean?
I guess I would say I tackled my fear of flying because I didn’t want to hold them back, when actually they’ve inspired me to stop holding myself back. I could say I’m losing weight because I want to be able to run around and play with my children, when actually it’s carrying them for nine months that made me realise that I needed to do this for myself to live the healthiest life I can for me. I always encourage the girls to look at me when they are talking to me, or anyone else for that matter and I realised that I say this but then try and hide myself behind my long fringe because I’m so conscious of my eye, how can I say one thing to them and do something completely different. I am not practising what I preach. Rosie and Lydia have taught me not to make do, because I’m telling them they don’t have to make do. They’ve taught me that if I want something I can have it if I work hard enough because that’s what I tell them and most of all they have been the biggest kick up the backside that anyone could ever have given me because I’ve learned, how can I expect the best of dreams for them if I don’t expect that for myself. My children have empowered me and I hope they will live their lives knowing that!
Heres the link to my youtube video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rodThCfxScY&t=12s
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