Being a parent comes with so much pressure, some of it we put on ourselves and some from other parents, people or society in general. I find it really frustrating when other people act surprised if you tell them you have or haven’t made certain choices for your child. Just live and let live. We ALL know our own children like no one else, so know what choices you make are the best for your child, regardless of what other people think or say. Giving helpful advice is one thing, judging people or telling them they are wrong is another.
During my child care career I have helped hundreds of children potty train. It’s part of the job and it’s a given that when you work in early years the little people you look after will all need potty training at some point. I would confidently say I have ALOT of experience with this. My advice has always been- do not attempt to potty train until your child is ready. Are they holding in their wee- showing they have bladder control, are they saying when they are doing a wee... there’s so many tell tale signs. My biggest piece of advice has always been, once you put pants on your child, don’t go back. You’ve made the decision- go with it!
With this in mind and trying to practice what I preach, I’ve been determined as a Mummy I will not even contemplate potty training until my children are ready. As ever, Rosie made this pretty easy- at just past her second birthday (right in the ‘normal’ developmental age) she said ‘Mummy, I don’t want to wear a nappy anymore’ so I went with it and just like that she was potty trained. She was ready! It was not a traumatic experience at all. Then there’s Lydia.... she is 3 next month, so time was ticking on and I was starting to feel the pressure from all angels about getting her in pants, even though I knew she wasn’t ready. I was starting to sway- thinking I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and make the decision for her. She hadn’t even done a wee on the potty until last month and that was because she had a UTI and I had no choice but to make her sit on the potty until it came. This wasn’t a pleasant experience because she was in pain. Outwardly I was saying as long as she’s done by the time she goes into kindergarten in September, that’s ok, but inside I was fretting- thinking it was never going to happen. I dug my heels in, had a word with myself and reminded myself what I’d said to hundreds of parents.... wait until she is ready and from then on every time someone (probably innocently) mentioned about her STILL being in a nappy, I said with confidence- she just isn’t ready. She asked for pants last Sunday. So I put some on her- she didn’t do anything at all for 5 hours- in the end I admitted defeat and decided she wasn’t mentally ready at all, at this stage I felt there was no point in pursuing something that could potentially turn into a negative experience for her and me, whats the point in creating a problem, when there is no problem in the first place, other than pressure from the outside world!
Roll forward to last Thursday- finally- the words came out of her mouth ‘I don’t want to wear a nappy’ so I went with it, put pants on her (dreading that she just wouldn’t do anything again), within 10 minutes she’d done a wee and the rest as they say is history (so far anyway- we are only on day 3). She hasn’t had one accident and takes herself off to the potty without even being reminded. We’ll see how the next couple of weeks go, but I’d say it’s been very successful and I’m really proud of her.
I’m not sharing this story to gloat, I’m not even going to go into the ‘top tips for potty training’, I don’t really have any, apart from what I’ve said above. I also except that I’m very lucky that both of the girls (eventually) have got there in the end, with little trauma. I’m also aware they are both girls and apparently potty training girls is easier. I’m sharing this to remind you all, you know what is best for your child, you know when they are ready and also when you are ready to tackle potty training. We live in a world where time frames, developmental stages and ‘the best way to do things’ is rammed down our throats constantly. We are told not to compare our children to others but that is impossible in a world where there is so much information about when things should be done by. I’m so glad that on this occasion my career knowledge and experience has really impacted on my parenting in a positive way and has actually made my Mummy decisions easier than is often the case. I just wanted to say, don’t let the pressure get to you, don’t question your mum/dad gut instinct and remember nobody knows what is best for your child more than you. You’ve got this. You are the expert of your child.
Lyddy is back at ‘school’ tomorrow, for the first time in pants. I have no idea if that means I’m going to be collecting a weeks worth of wet clothes when I pick her up, but even if that does happen I still know I’ve made the right decision. The next big thing for Lydia is the Dummy fairy! Wish me luck!
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