Nursery was the right childcare choice for us, and even though I wasn't working, it gives the girls things I cant. Choosing the right one was a nightmare though!
I'm a really strong advocate of nursery care, after all I did work in them for 16 years. I think nursery can offer children something really special and if the balance is right, for my children, I wouldn't use any other form of childcare. We need to be honest, nursery care is institutionalised care, there is no point wrapping it up as anything else! But for me this is one of its strengths. Rosie absolutely loves nursery, and loves the people who look after her, but home is still her favourite place and I am still (one of)her favourite people. These things couldn't be guaranteed if we went down another childcare route! What if she preferred the nanny who looked after her to me, or liked the childminders house more than ours- both are probably irrational insecurities, but very real ones for me (this is in no way a slight on these kinds of provision I have Nanny and Childminder friends and they are some of the best childcarers I know). I also can not undervalue the fact that there are multiple staff at the nursery who have to self police each other and appraise each other and without being too blunt, make sure they don't do anything wrong. This offers me security and reassurance.
So why did it take me 8 months to choose a nursery for Rosie (and eventually Lydia)? I'd never gone into a nursery as a parent, only ever a professional and there was a very interesting and significant difference. I guess sometimes you can know too much and I felt anxious and sick about leaving Rosie.... but I knew nursery could offer her something I couldn't..... conflict resolution, where unbiased adults are helping the children negotiate what is right and what is wrong. The psychology of being in a group, or class of like minded people at the same stage in their lives. Everyone has their own unique place in society and nursery's are so social that it would help Rosie find her place without me lerking behind her making choices for her, I want her to make her own choices.
This is all very specific and quite difficult to quantify, I followed my gut and looking at nurseries with empty display boards, or seeing out of date information on the walls, or being shown round by someone other than the manager or deputy were all off putting to me. These things were probably not reflective of the day to day practice in the nurseries I viewed, but they were enough for me to walk away. I wasn't sure I was ever going to find one that just felt right! But 8 nurseries later I did.
With my psychology back ground I have a firm belief that the early years for children are like the foundations of a house, they are the thing that everything else is hinged upon and supported by. I don't really care if Rosie is being 'taught' her numbers and colours, what is important to me is that she is nurtured emotionally, made to feel safe and secure and able to express herself creatively and freely. I want her to like who she is and be confident that she can do what she feels and take safe risks. I want her to feel worth a million dollars every day, by everyone she is with, even when she's being told off. I feel when she has these things she will learn all she needs to learn and flourish and thrive the way the EYFS says she should. So when I walked into Rosie's nursery for the first time a number of things stood out to me, first: the manager wasn't afraid to correct children when they were displaying negative behaviour- this gave me confidence that she was self assured and confident in her own practice. I always taught my staff that if they speak to a child differently when parents are around, they are doing it wrong when the parents aren't around and they need to change their practice. Second: all of the children were engaged in whatever they were doing, this gave me confidence that the children were being stimulated and challenged and that the staff know the children's individual motivators. Third: all the staff seemed to be happy and connected, it seemed like they were friends and actually enjoyed being there which can only have a positive impact on the children. I wanted them to love Rosie, but maintain the professional distance that nurseries are perfect for. Fourth: there were ducks, a rabbit that ran around the rooms and orchards with apples hanging down, for me this was the cherry on top, Rosie would get real experiences, with real life things, when I ask her what noise a duck makes she quacks gladly because she's actually heard a duck quack, rather than just imitating my rubbish impression of a duck. She went through a stage of calling all round fruit (even pumpkins) an apple and I wondered for so long where she had got this from, then one day Rosie's key person said they'd been in the orchard collecting apples and it's one of Rosie favourite things! My heart melted, nursery was teaching her so much, and loving her and nurturing her and actually having an amazing impact on her early years! When I receive her observations they bring a tear to my eyes because they really do 'get' her and Rosie is obviously comfortable and happy because they are defiantly writing about the Rosie I know so well and love so much!
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