This blog is a break from the norm for me. I usually write about the girls or my fitness and health journey but I really want to do this for my friend, who has had the most awful time. I want to write about her because I think she needs to see what I’ve got to say about her and I would never say it verbally because as you all know I’m not one to speak my feelings. I want to share it because we all have friends, who we try to help and support when things are bad and the chips are down and often they never know just how amazing they are! Why is it when we break free of a toxic relationship it’s us who feel like we are unworthy, it’s us who have lost all our self esteem and confidence, it’s us who feel like the worst person in the world and it’s us that are left totally broken by everything that has been thrown at us. I won’t go into too much detail here because it’s not my place to share, if my friend wants to share in the future I will help her do that. She has a story to tell and I really think it’s a story that could help other women who find themselves in the same situation. She didn’t and doesn’t deserve any of the things that have happened to her but that isn’t really the important message here. The important message is that she doesn’t realise how amazingly strong she is. She doesn’t realise that when she feels the weakest she ever has, all I see is a Mummy, a lady who has come out the other side and is winning and is graceful (mostly, except when she’s drunk) and has so much dignity I can’t even explain. I see a lady who has been through things that most of us never have and she still gets her children to school every morning on time, looking as smart as they ever have and ready to start their day like everything is just fine. She has protected them with every ounce of her being and wherever she has had the power and control to she has made sure they don’t see the issues she has had to contend with. I see a lady who has only asked for help when she can not go on anymore, where most people would not have been able to cope a long time before she surrendered. I see a lady who is so worried about being judged and what people think she’d forgotten that any judgement of her (from the people that really count) would only be positive, full of admiration, support and sympathy. Not one person would judge her harshly because she is caring, kind and warm. My friend doesn’t realise all the things she has done to help me over the years. She has taught me to be more forgiving, show more affection and accept when I may have been wrong (not that I’m wrong very often). She pushed me when I needed pushing, hugged me when I needed some love and protected me and cared for me when I’m at rock bottom. So my pledge to her is that I will do the same for her. Never has she needed protecting more than now, never has she needed love more than now and never has she needed pushing more than now. I need to say I’m so proud of her for everything she has achieved and the love she has bestowed on her children throughout everything. I also need to say to her that the mountains she has had to climb, she has climbed with everything she has and she has done it well, better than most. She needs to realise that she actually is an inspiration to other woman who have been and are in a similar situation than she. She is proof that with determination you can get through anything and most of all I need her to know that I love her. Xx
Sometimes, all our friends need when they are broken is a friendly voice telling them they are loved and that they are amazing, even if at the time they don't believe what you are saying. All of us will have been in a situation where we've needed our best friends around us, to help and support us through awful times. I hope anyone who reads this, whether you are the person hanging on by a thread, or the friend providing love and support, realises that the power of friendship is unmeasurable!
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